Being a single mother
(Family)

Priya · #1 09-02-2006, 01:01 PM

Being a single mother

Raising a child is not an easy task. When bringing up a child can be difficult for both a mother and father together, one can only imagine the pressure and stress that this situation could cause to a single mother. Being a single mom is not as uncommon as it used to be back in the day. With women being more independent and successful in their careers, they can manage a child on their own. But even the best of us could feel slightly pressured from time to time.

So how can you make life easy for yourself and your child without having daddy dearest around? Read on to find out:

Let them be
Accept your child’s differences. Let him or her just be and allow them to discover their own identity.

Don’t treat them like adults
In the case of a boy, don’t make him the man of the house. You might not be doing this intentionally, but be careful about what you say or do. Because your child might automatically develop a complex of being the only man around and grow up before his age. So watch how you treat him. In the case of a girl, sometimes a single mom might get super paranoid and try to protect the child by warning her too much about things and people with the hope of making her street-smart before her time. Avoid doing that and treat them in accordance with their age.

Your child is important
Whether your child is adopted or is your own biological son or daughter, let them always know how important they are to you. You are making up for the lack of a father figure so keep encouraging your child with positive reinforcement.

Teach through example
Point out the positive qualities in people you see on a day to day basis. This means that even if you’re buying your child toys, and the salesman is especially attentive or friendly, point this trait out by mentioning what a helpful person he is. It will help the child understand how to define a well mannered man, because there is no father figure around for him or her to learn from.

Gender knowledge
Be a little creative in helping your child learn to identify their gender. For instance, many single mothers complain about how their boy might wear heels or how their girl wants to play with guy stuff. You need to sit your child down and explain to them the differences between secondary sex characteristics between males and females. Do not avoid this because you might have issues talking about sexuality. Your child needs to know and it is up to you to make sure he or she is well informed and more importantly, make sure your child gets the right kind of information.

Actress Sushmita Sen with her adopted daughter Reneé

Role Model
Role models are important for every aspect of your child’s life. Just because a father lives at home does not mean a child is being “fathered”. You can use other members of your family like a grandfather or uncle to imbibe a value system in your child.

Keep it real
Enjoy your time with your baby or toddler by not worrying about whether they are missing out on anything by not having “dad” around. At the same time, try not to avoid “daddy stuff” totally. Even though many children’s books feature animal families raised only by a mom, it’s okay to read stories about all kinds of families to your child. Place a high value on male and female relationships in order to give your child a realistic perspective.

The above rules apply to all single mothers. Whether you are divorced, widowed or have adopted a child, you do have the capacity to raise a wonderful human being all by yourself. Just keep the above in mind and you will be fine.