The Greatest Jokes Thread Ever

[mkrishlive]

One day two sardars met and started chatting. The main topic of the conversation was about how others view sardars. They felt that sardars are being ridiculed too much by others. They wanted to teach others a good lesson. Soon they had a plan for that. Said one Sardar to the other, "We two will go to beach tomorrow morning. We should keep on staring at the sea. People in anxiety will crowd behind us but we should not turn to see them. Finally in the night or so we will turn and say "Hey Fools! What you think of sardars?". That will be a good lesson. What do you feel?".
The other one was simply overwhelmed. He said "that's really great!" and hugged him. Next day the two sardars went to the beach and did according to the plan. Soon they heard murmuring behind them and were happy. Time passed by and the noise from behind was increasing more. The two smiled at each other but didn't turn. It became late night and the sardars decided to turn to see the crowd. The sardars were shocked not because the crowd was more than expected BUT ALL IN THE CROWD WERE SARDARS!!!

[mkrishlive]

Q: Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

Q: Why do sardars have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

[mkrishlive]

Q: How can you tell when a sardar sends you a fax?
A: It has a stamp on it.

Q: Why can't sardars dial 911?
A: They can not find the eleven on the phone.

[mkrishlive]

Q: How do you get a sardar on the roof?
A: Tell him the drinks are on the house.

Q: What do smart sardars and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but you never see them.

[mkrishlive]

Q: Why does it take longer to build a sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.

Q: How do you measure a surd's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear!

[mkrishlive]

A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear. In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims, "Damn, some asshole has my pen!"

GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY : What time was it??

[mkrishlive]

Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out
of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Jimmy : Mom, can I have two piece of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.

[mkrishlive]

Q: How do you keep a Surd busy all day?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

Q: A surd going to London on a plane, how can you steal his window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

[mkrishlive]

Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I comfortable seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.

Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I gave them last week.

[mkrishlive]

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A SURD THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Q: How do you make a surd laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.