[Aditya]

Top 10 Common Sense Rules for Fathers

There are a lot of fairly sophisticated parenting techniques and ideas out there that are attracting attention. To be an effective father, you can skip most of them and concentrate on common sense rules that have always worked. They won't always make you the most popular dad, but they'll always be effective.

Rule #1: Expect a great deal from your kids.

If your kids know that you expect a lot from them, they'll rise to the occasion. Everything from saying “please” and “thank you” to efforts in school or on the athletic field … if expectations are made clear in a loving atmosphere, your kids will know that you think a lot of them. When they know this, they'll respond.

Rule #2: Always be willing to be the problem.

When you're convinced that someone in your family is causing the problems and you're blaming them for it, realize that this problem won't get better until you accept that you're making it worse by blaming them. It may briefly feel good to blame, but it never improves anything. Loving and accepting that person will make a positive difference.

Rule #3: Know your child’s life intimately.

Get to know all that you can about your kids. Know what their favorite toys and colors are, who their best friends are, who their heroes are, etc. By showing interest, you're showing you love them. By not asking, you show that they're not that important to you.

Rule #4: Say “no” to your kids.

There's an awful lot of stuff out there for kids these days ... and of course they want to have it all. Kids who get almost everything they want typically don't turn out to be very happy kids. Kids learn discipline, self-control and how to delay gratification when they are told “no” by their parents. It may be a difficult struggle, but saying “no” and meaning it will help you to have happy, healthy and cooperative kids.

Rule #5: Hitting or spanking your kids doesn’t work.

There are plenty of studies showing that kids who are spanked have lower self-esteem. Spanking your kids will also be likely to increase the very kinds of behaviors that you are spanking them for. As a father, do you really want your child to be afraid of you?