[Aditya]

Long Term Attachment Parenting

Are AP groups and ideas a thing of the past now that your little ones are big kids (or even – gasp! -- teenagers) and you’re no longer breastfeeding and diapering? Are you an attachment parenting graduate (or drop-out)?

Attachment parenting is not just for babies – and you don’t have to stop as your kids grow older!

Obviously, you only get one chance for bonding at birth. Breastfeeding and baby wearing have their own eras, as well. Those days may be gone, but those strategies represent fewer than half of the seven keys of attachment parenting cited by internationally renowned AP experts Dr. William and Martha Sears.

Think you’re done APing when your kids reach school age? Think again! Many older children still want or need to sleep with a parent or sibling. You won’t be responding to a baby’s cry anymore, but you’ll always need to keep an open ear to the real messages your kids fervently wish you would hear. You’ll want to continue to avoid rigid approaches to parenting and discipline, especially as your children approach their teen years, when striking a balance between the parental “no” and “yes!” grabs center stage once again.

Trust, respect and commitment

Attachment parenting isn’t simply about breastfeeding and holding your baby. It’s about trust, respect and deep commitment. Early patterns of open communication, trust and mutual respect play a vital role in your child's development all the way through the teen years. "AP parents trust their children to grow out of developmental stages naturally, when they are ready," says Kelly's Attachment Parenting. "Because children are allowed to mature at their own pace, they have a secure base from which to learn about their world. Emotional stability and independence of both thought and action are possible as they age, because their childhood needs have been met."

But what about the needs of everyone else in the family? Won't all this intense attention spoil kids and chain parents to years of servitude? Don't forget the seventh "Baby B" listed above: balance. Effective AP families are family-centered, not child-centered; they take into consideration the needs of everyone in the family. "It appears that many parents of toddlers, in their anxiety to be neither negligent nor disrespectful, have gone overboard in what may seem to be the other direction," says researcher Jean Liedloff. The key to building a successful family life is to include children rather than focusing on them, avoiding what Liedloff calls "the unhappy consequences of being child-centered."