[Aditya]

The Barbie dilemma

Was it Montessori or Waldorf that recommended dolls without faces, so that the children could use the doll to express any emotion? I do agree that the perpetual smiling cheerful face of Barbie might express an unreal cheerfulness, but we found the dolls without faces to be very creepy. A child who can imagine that Barbie is upset can imagine that she’s frowning.

We play with a lot of Barbie in our house. I have four daughters, and I just had to accept that Barbie would be a part of our life. I tried to fight it and decided I’d rather put the energy somewhere else. The Barbies in our house are all moms, the Skippers and Kellies are sisters and we even have a few “baby sister” Barbies. They’re not all made by Mattel. They are moms and grandmas, they drive their Corvettes and VW bugs to school, to soccer practice, to Girl Scouts and to Grandma’s house but never to the mall. Most of the Barbies work from home (and get annoyed when their kids interrupt them on the computer!). There are a few Kens in the mix who always pop into the game to say “I’m going to work. I love you … Goodbye!” Occasionally they come home from work and smother Barbie with kisses.

Our Barbies are almost always naked. My kids find it annoying to try to stick their arms into the teeny sleeves and tights. Besides, it isn’t about the clothes, it’s about the conversations. They’re forever planning what the Barbies will say to each other and where they will go. Sometimes the Barbies will sit unattended for hours -- but they’re not “ a mess.” They’re sleeping or reading or waiting for someone.

I have decided that our Barbies are just a way to express my kids’ growing field of social reference. My six-year-old once asked why all Barbies were shaped the same. I told her that Mattel was unimaginative and that they just mold all the bodies in one factory and stick different heads on each time they make a new one. “Imagine if we were all shaped like that,” I told her. “They don’t even have nipples!” she laughed.

So I’ve made peace with Barbie. I do admit to throwing away her shoes the minute I find them on the floor (they’re choking hazards). I admit that I deliberately bought a doll house the Barbies wouldn’t fit into. And I admit that I erased the Working Woman Barbie CD program from our computer. Barbie is welcome in my house -- as long as she follows my rules!